Join us on WyzeCast™ Season 3, Episode 27, as we sit down with the incredible Timeka Tyler, aka Coach MeMe, a seasoned Business and Life Coach with over a decade of experience in driving successful business operations and technology projects. Tyler, the founder of Blacktion Plan, brings her analytical prowess and conceptual thinking to the table, helping individuals and business owners identify challenges, assess opportunities, and make strategic decisions for lasting success.

In this episode, Tyler shares valuable insights on overcoming mediocrity and achieving a life of inner peace, external happiness, and long-term success. Her unique ability to assess complex situations and offer meaningful solutions is at the heart of her mission to transform the world into a place where life balance becomes the new norm.

Watch on YouTube – Premieres January 17th, 10 AM ET

Listen on Spotify – Premieres December 29th, 10 AM ET

Melanie McSally
Welcome to another episode of WyzeCast™, the show that elevates the voices, shines the light, showcases the gifts of our heart-centered guests, and amplifies the positive differences they are making in the world.

Folks, I am delighted to present today’s guest to you. She is a business professional with over ten years of business experience. She has an extensive background in planning and managing cross-functional business operations and technology projects. She is an analytical and conceptual thinker who partners with people and business owners to identify challenges, assess opportunities, facilitate strategic decisions, and drive successful implementations.

Her ability to assess complex situations and identify appropriate solutions works hand in hand with her ability to gain meaningful insight and follow up with thorough analysis.

She founded Blacktion Plan in 2019 out of a deep desire to see a world where inner peace, external happiness, long-term success, and life balance become the new norm.

My name is Melanie McSally, your host for today’s episode, and without further adieu, I would like to give a warm welcome to the beautiful, thoughtful, and heart-centered Timeka Tyler, aka Coach MeMe. Coach MeMe is joining us from Georgia in the US. Thank you for being here, Timeka, Welcome.

Timeka Tyler
Thank you for having me.

Melanie McSally
Awesome. The pleasure is mine. Can you tell us where Coach MeMe comes from? Where did you get that title? What is it all about?

Timeka Tyler
Okay, so my mom called meme as a kid. So that was just the name, and then, with a name like Timeka, sometimes it’s hard for a lot of children to pronounce. I always find myself in these situations. I love kids, and with my personality, I talk to everybody’s kids, even strangers, or sometimes people’s kids talk to me. And instead of having them call me Timeka, I came up with MeMe. Then, as I started my career as a life coach and a business coach, I didn’t want people to call me Coach Timeka, so I was like, Coach MeMe would be good because I’m MeMe to all of the kids that I see everywhere, and it’s just easier. So Coach MeMe is what we decided.

Melanie McSally
Nice, and MeMe seems to fit your personality. Bubbly and shiny and…

Timeka Tyler
Yes. Absolutely.

Melanie McSally
So, with symmetry, let’s keep going. What does Blacktion stand for? How did you come up with the name for your business?

Timeka Tyler
Ooohh, Blacktion Plan. Blacktion Plan is my baby. It’s not my first business. But it’s like that business that’s more purposeful. Well, first of all, it’s a two-part thing. Right? So Black-tion. A lot of people say, wow, black-tion. Well, I’m a black girl. I’m in a lot of settings where we got to have the conversation: I’m a black girl. So, if I’m around some of my white colleagues or Asian colleagues, there’s an elephant in the room. You want to ask me something about my hair, or why my teeth are gold, or why I got a tattoo on my chest. Just say it. It’s a black girl thing. Our culture as black people can really be different than what other people are used to. So my thing is, conversations aren’t pointless; have the conversation. So, Blacktion Plan allows me to have the conversation about blackness, about black experiences, about the way that we may do things as black people. Let’s just have it because we have them behind closed doors; let’s talk about it because valuable insight can be learned from it. On the flip end, though, our actions as people sometimes suck. Then, sometimes, the reason why we can’t get where we want to get in life is because we’re not taking any action. There are so many conversations we can have from this word Blacktion because of the actions: we need to take action, and there’s this whole black/white racism thing, and no matter what in life, you gotta have a plan. If you’re not planning, then you’re going to ultimately just go wherever life takes you, and I think a lot of us are realizing that doesn’t work. That’s not the way to go; it’s just free-flowing all the time. So, that’s like the still the short story behind it.

Melanie McSally
Nice. I love that. As a supporter of all minorities and also a white woman, I find myself sometimes feeling like, is it appropriate to ask this question? What is the politically correct word to say? Sometimes, I am not a fearful person, or let’s just say I am generally the person who will push through my fear in life, but when it comes to the potential of offending people, that’s where fear might stop me. I remember I used to work for Berklee College of Music, and they pride themselves on diversity, equity, and inclusion. I remember this black woman was doing a talk for those of us who work there and it was titled: Girl Don’t Touch My Hair, and it was from a famous YouTube video. In fact, they played the YouTube video. What my takeaway from that movie was, wait a minute, if I like your hair, I can’t compliment you; that’s offensive? So, I guess for us white girls who don’t want to offend people but do want to support and tell you, you’re beautiful and all the things, what can we do?

Timeka Tyler
That is a really good question, and I appreciate you for saying that because I think these are the types of conversations we have to have. I’ll tell you some backstory for me. I’ve always been curious. Very inquisitive, and that didn’t really make sense to me until I had kids. So my kids are so curious. We’re out in public; my kids are homeschooled, so they’re not as exposed to the world. So, if we see someone. We saw a guy who had no legs, and my son literally asked him, what happened to your legs? Why you don’t have any legs? I was like, ugh, Destin, you might not want to just ask him like that about his legs because we don’t know what the backstory is. I’ve always somehow offended people with my words and my questions, and I’m not even trying to. That’s what helped me to see. Now, as a coach, I’m asking the tough questions because it allows us to have a conversation. If I know that I’m not trying to offend you and I know that I have the purest of intentions, and I end up offending you, instead of allowing it to turn into an argument. I’ll just, hey, my bad. I didn’t mean to offend you; I genuinely just wanted to know. So, to answer your question, I think you just ask, I have a lot of white women who say, Oh, how did you get your hair like that? By now, I understand. That’s just, let’s just put it out there: in a lot of black cultures, we can be kind of aggressive. Our sense of humor can be a little sick with how we talk about life’s challenges. We’ll turn a tragedy into a joke. All cultures don’t do that. Not everybody doing it like that. So, you may have some white families like, well, that’s not funny. Okay, my bad, because in the black culture, sometimes we have to turn our pain into laughs to kind of make light of it. So, for that reason, it’s like, we got to understand if you’re someone who is been in a white community all your life, and you run across a black girl like me with braids, quite naturally, it’s like, dang, how did you get your hair like that? Because, you know, I never seen it. So, I think you just have to ask the question and let the conversation happen. Like you said, it brings up fear. Fear is an emotion, and no matter what in life, I’ve learned that when you are having a conversation or doing anything, and you’re in your feelings, you’re at a high level of emotion, and you’re not going to be as effective. So, if you genuinely see a black girl, and even if it’s like, dang, girl, your hair is cool. I’ve never seen it. Just say it. Black girls, sometimes we get that mean girl look because we have a lot going on. For me, especially, I love other races and cultures because they challenge me. Like, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but why are you so mad? It makes us think. I think whenever other cultures feel comfortable with just having the conversation. Like you said, you’re not being racist. You’re not doing anything wrong. It actually helped the world be a better place. Because you genuinely just want to know. You know what I mean? And it might bring something beautiful for you and her. So I think just say it, and if she gets mad, understand as black people, sometimes we go through so much, especially black women. Like right now, I’m talking to you, and one of my kids walked in here and said something, and my natural response might be to snatch; Stop. Don’t you see? It’s a natural response, but it’s not well thought out. So sometimes, just having people be like, well, I apologize. No offense. I just wanted to know, it will trigger a different thought inside of us like, dang, because we’re nice people. We just be having a lot going on. You know what I mean? So, I think just the conversation itself, happening from a pure form. I think it actually will help, and it has always helped me, in my personal experience. Long answer, but just have the conversation. Just say it. Because it makes it awkward if you think it, and… As humans, we’re all intuitive beings. So now it’s like, why that white girl, is she thinking something? Is she mad? Is she buggin’? Because I feel her energy versus my bad, I just was admiring your hair. Okay, girl. Do you want to touch it? You see? That’s how we kind of are, so just ask the question.

Melanie McSally
Yeah, and you know, the funny thing is, like in the video, the woman talks about, when you’re pregnant, you don’t like strangers coming up to you and touching your belly. As a black woman, you don’t like people just randomly touching your head. I totally get that. I wouldn’t don’t want that either. Actually, I don’t get the fascination with wanting to touch other people’s hair. So that’s curious to me, but we don’t need to dive into that one. I would just say this happens a lot with people who are in transition or cultures that are in transition where the person going through transition has been thinking about this for a while. So, as they’re going through that transition, they’re not on day one. Their mental process happened years and years ago. And so they’re facing all these challenges with with people and how they’re being accepted or not, or communicated with or not. Then, the supportive people. I’m not talking about the haters in the world, but the supportive people. They haven’t been on the same journey. So, they might be on day one. And it takes us a bit to change. It takes anybody time to change in any situation. So, I think as a society, we just need to have more love and compassion for people. In every situation, just think the best of people, ask questions, and be inquisitive. Because, like you’re saying, if I don’t say anything, and it usually happens in a public restroom, where I’m like, Oh, I like your hair, but I don’t know, should I say something? Should I not? Then I look weird because I’m staring at you. and I’m not saying anything, and you’re like, what’s your problem? Oh, and plus, you’re originally from New York. I’m originally from Boston. We got that blunt attitude going on, like, girl, why are you looking at me?

Timeka Tyler
Yeah, um, it’s crazy. I’m sorry, my tripod is falling. One of my kids broke the leg. It’s crazy that you say that because I moved down south from New York when I was young. What I learned was… I say everything happens for a reason because, like, you say, we’re more blunt on the East Coast. I’m from New York. So I was like, Hey, girl, why is your hair like that? I used to ask my mom, why are they talking to us? In New York, we don’t say hi to people. Why are they saying hi? I’d ask the question because that’s weird. You say hi. Where I’m from, we don’t say hi. So I’ve learned that literally, we are uniquely who we are, and it really shapes the world in a beautiful way if you show up as who you are. There are people in the South who learned from me because of the uniqueness that I bring from New York. I learned a lot coming to the South because I learned how to be a little bit more conservative. Because, again, in New York, we say what we say, we say what we think, we feel how we feel, and we stand on it. I’ve become so much more of a flexible person since coming to the South. It’s because they stand strong on who they are, and I stand strong on who I am. But in life, if you’re open and willing to learn and to adjust or adapt for your betterment, you can take things from the South that are beautiful and take things from New York that are beautiful, and you can become one whole beautiful person. So we really need each other in these small interactions. It’s the small interactions, like in a bathroom or at a restaurant with someone who you’ve never met before. That interaction will go such a long way if you’re open to it. So those little opportunities to get to know someone or to say, Hey, girl, you know, I’m a black girl, so my hair can get how yours is, and I like how your hair is right now. Say it, you know what I mean? You’d be surprised what type of long-term beauty can literally come from it. It’s beautiful, but it’s kind of crazy at the same time. We need each other: all races, all shapes, colors, sizes, and all of that. I believe that.

Melanie McSally
Yeah, and also, when you put forth your intention, my intention is to give you a compliment. It might come out in a way that’s offensive because I don’t know your story. But my intention is to give you a compliment. So as long as I stand true in my intention, if you’re like, why are you saying that? I can be like, because I want to give you a compliment. Then, we can have a conversation from there. So, along these sorts of difficult conversation lines, I’ve heard you say that the majority of people are living a mediocre life or consider themselves mediocre. Why do you say that?

Timeka Tyler
Okay. Oh my God, this could be hurtful. This could be hurtful for some people to hear, but mediocrity is not good enough.

Timeka Tyler
As long as you sit back in that bad relationship, you’re miserable about your life, you don’t want to work anymore, yet you’re not educating yourself on how to be a successful business owner, or you’re thinking you know everything, but your life’s results suck. That’s mediocre because you’re capable of doing something more. You’re capable of being something greater. We all are, but we limit ourselves, and we hold ourselves back, and I think that’s pretty mediocre. I think that’s lame. It’s wack. I want people to do better. It makes the world a better place. We’re going down as a society right now. Seriously, it’s not looking good for a lot of people. We all have a purpose in society and in each other’s lives: to be a light in such a dark world. We have to be great. We cannot live in mediocrity, and we can no longer accept the mediocre existence that we have lived in.

Melanie McSally
I love it. We’ve already been talking about this, so I’m pretty sure I can guess the answer, but what gives you the confidence to be able to assess that somebody’s living a mediocre life and then tell them without coming across as rude or judgmental?

Timeka Tyler
Yeah, um, because I’m good at, as a coach, I have a system. So the first question I can ask anyone is, are you happy? It’s a yes or no. You can ask someone a question like, are you happy? They might be like, well, on this day. No, no, no, no, no. Are you happy? Overall? Yes or no? A lot of people are gonna answer no. Boom, mediocrity. Because if you’re talking to me, I believe that you are capable of being your best self. I understand you have a story. You went through this. You got that going on. We all got this and that going on. We all have a story, but if you’re walking and talking. You have people with one arm playing sports. You got disabled people doing amazing things. So you can’t tell me that your circumstances or what you’ve been through is a justifiable reason as to why you can’t be happy. So, one simple question: are you happy? Are you where you want to be? A lot of people are gonna say no. That’s mediocrity because you’re capable of doing something different. I was once mediocre. You know how they say it takes one to know one. Okay, I was mediocre before. I put in the work, and now I’m living life according to my own standards that I can be proud of. So I can, with confidence, say it because it takes one to know one. I used to be them. Okay. And are you happy? Are you satisfied with your own life? If the answer is no, I call mediocre.

Melanie McSally
You’re transforming. Mediocre is the new bullshit.

Timeka Tyler
Yes, yes. Because some people don’t like profanity, okay, I won’t curse. Mediocre. The English language got words for days. However you want to call it. What you want to call it. It’s all good. Okay?

Melanie McSally
Okay, so you’re helping people through this mediocrity. Transform mediocrity into exceptionalism. So you’re doing your life coaching. I know you’re also a business coach. So, how does that all play together? How do you find time also to have a family and kids and all this stuff?

Timeka Tyler
Okay. So, I started in business when I was twenty-two. I just celebrated thirty-five. So, I’ve always been pretty determined. New Yorker, that fast-paced in me, blended with the slow pace of Oklahoma City, really balanced me out. So, I started out in PR. I went from PR to consulting. I actively still do sales. I’m an insurance broker. So, I still have my hand and corporate America. If you have ever been blessed to work for a good corporate company, you will see that these corporate companies cross every T and dot every I; they think everything through, and it’s because they sit and do the work. So for me, I started having kids. I didn’t like how corporate America hindered me from being a mom. So it’s like, let me figure out my little strategy. Let me figure out my plan on how I’m going to make this happen. So I’m still in sales, still helping people with selling their products and services. A lot of people, they’ll come to me, and as a life coach, it’s like, yeah, I’m feeling healed, and now, I never told you, but uh, I want to start a business. Oh dang. Now, I gotta almost help you start a business. Otherwise, you might get stuck and go back to square one feeling depressed. So it’s like, the healing part is one thing. But a lot of people who have a desire to be healed realize, whether consciously or subconsciously, that there’s more to life than themselves, and they want to do more. And that’s usually in the form of a business, a product, or a brand. So it’s like, wow, after I get them healed, I have a ton of business knowledge because I’m a sales rep. In order for me to sell any product or service, I got to know the company. Sometimes, we got to work with account managers or contractors because I’ve been in a lot of different sales positions. It’s a process. It’s a system. So I literally created a system within Blacktion Plan that helps me identify where you are in your healing or lack thereof. Then, identify where you are in your business operations so that you can either start a business or operate your business better because we have a lot of people with businesses who are not making any money. You know what I mean? They may have a following, but they’re not making any money. So it’s like, we got to really get this together because I don’t want to help people heal and then send them off to somebody else to get help with the business. Knowing that a lot of people don’t know how to run a business. Running a business is hard. It’s hard, so it’s like, I want to be the person that can help them all the way through. If I refer people to another person to help them with their business after I’ve already helped them heal, it could be a personality conflict. I’ve run into that before, NPR. So because of personality conflicts, now, my former client doesn’t want to operate a business anymore because this man went and hurt her. When some clients come to me, and there are personality conflicts, but there’s common ground because, listen, you’re mediocre, and you know, no one else is gonna tell you the truth. You need raw truth in your life, and that’s what helps make them stronger. Because I tell them, when you’re tired of me, you’re gonna say Timeka, not today. And I’m gonna say, okay, not today. So, what do we need to do today? Because this is where I need you to be as a human, I need you to be able to stand up for yourself. I need you to be able to communicate effectively under pressure so that we can build this business because you have to be resilient. You have to be strong in your business. If I really want to see people grow and be successful, it’s almost like: if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. So, honestly, I believe that this is my purpose. I homeschool my kids. I build the system in my house. My kids tell me all the time we’re not your clients. But you are because this is my purpose in life overall.

So, to answer your question, I’m honestly like this; this is honestly who I am; I wake up like this. I have a sixteen-year-old, and I asked him to give me one word to describe your mom; his word was childish. I’ll take that. Do you feel loved by me? Do you? Can you communicate with me? All those things? Okay. I’d say childish. I am a childish parent. I’m a playful person. I’m like this all day, every day. I didn’t ask to be like this. I didn’t ask to be born. So, in my mind, it’s a purpose, and coaching is that purpose. So it just kind of plays out. It just works itself out. I’m so blessed. I’m grateful. So it just happened. It just continues to happen every single day.

Melanie McSally
Well, when you’re blessed, and you’re not living a life of mediocrity, you’re living an exceptional life, then exceptional things are attracted to you because you’re living an exceptional life. So that’s one of the main reasons to get out of mediocrity. I just heard somebody say it like this: what is your bottom line allowance? What are you settling for? If your bank account is empty, if your love life is empty, or whatever, if it’s not at the level that you desire it to be at, it’s because you’re settling for what you have. As soon as you say I’m no longer settling, then you’ll start attracting what you deserve because you won’t allow the rest of it to come in. So yeah, I love it, and I totally get it. You seem very high-energy so I can see how you can get all of this done. So, it has been such a delight, high-energy roller coaster. chatting with you today. Do you have any final thoughts or pieces of advice for our listeners?

Timeka Tyler
I would say we’ve already discussed this. Life’s hard. We all have a story. We have all been through so much as a society, as individuals, as our own individual cultures: Black, White, Asian, Hispanic. We all have a struggle. We are all out here living. It is time that you realize, we all realize: happiness, peace, love, success, it is so possible, and if you don’t believe it, or you don’t know how to get it, get help. Get help. Talk to somebody who’s been there or who is where you want to be and really get help because I would hate for you to live another moment of your life not being your best self. Not being happy or not being successful. So get help, please.

Melanie McSally
Yeah, I mean, let’s just think about this. Imagine, we all hear the phrase: a team is only as strong as its weakest link. Right? So, if you think about the planet, it is only as happy as its saddest person. Don’t be the person that’s pulling everybody down. Be happy so that we can all be happy.

Timeka Tyler
For real! Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, please, please, please, because we got kids. Those of us who have children. Generational trauma. Generational curses. That stuff is real; don’t pass down misery to those innocent, beautiful babies. Let’s show them that peace, love, happiness, and success are possible in this world, and they start with you.

Melanie McSally
Absolutely. Absolutely. And we’re not talking about drone society. We’re not talking about Stepford Wives. We’re talking about compassion, living your life with purpose and joy, and having a good outlook. Be inquisitive, be open-minded. You don’t have to agree with people. People don’t have to agree with you. It’s all good. We can still have debates. We can have all of it, but we don’t have to do it with such negativity, such sadness, or such hatred.

Timeka Tyler
Exactly. Yes, that part, everything she said. And it’s deeper. It’s hard for someone not to be negative if all they’ve known is negativity or if all they’ve had in their life was negativity. So, we’re definitely sensitive to the deeper things that we all experience. And it’s all of those deeper things, all that negative stuff, and all of that trauma; peace, love, happiness, and success, it is possible. If you don’t know that, or you can’t even fathom how that is a thing, get help. Talk to somebody. I have free resources and stuff because not everybody can afford to book a session necessarily, but that’s why I always do free work. You can get on my social media. Get help. Please get help. I want everybody to get help and be happy. I know the whole world is not going to be a better place, but if one person sees this and makes the decision, I’m done being mediocre, then we have done a good thing. We have done a good thing.

Melanie McSally
Yeah. And I would say the same here: tons of free stuff, and happy to help. But here’s the thing, everybody’s gone through something hard, some things more hard than others, but it’s all relative to the person. So we’re not putting any judgment on where you’re at or what you’re going through. If you’re actually physically in something right now definitely seek help.

I would say the first step to transforming your thoughts around what you’ve been through in life is, do I have to keep feeling this way? Yes, I’ve been through hard things, but do I have to keep continuing to feel it every day? What would my life look like if I just chose to bring more joy? Just ask yourself the question. You don’t even have to answer it. Just asking allows the universe to bring you answers.

Timeka Tyler
Yeah. Yeah, that is so true. That is still true. The universe works in mysterious ways. Questions are key. And I asked a bunch of questions. So don’t reach out to me if you don’t want me to start asking questions, and the questions never stop because we got to challenge you.

I think it’s gonna all be good someday. I’m hopeful.

Melanie McSally: Yes, I mean, that’s all we have at the end of the day is hope, right?

Timeka Tyler: Yes, yes, yes.

Melanie McSally: So I checked out your website, Blacktion Plan. Is it Blacktion Plan?

Timeka Tyler: Yes. Blacktion Plan dot com. Yes.

Melanie McSally
Yes, and you have free resources on there. So she was totally telling you the truth. She has free resources. So, if you’re looking for your key to health to overcoming trauma, then go check out her website. She has some free resources on there, and of course, you have the ability to reach out to you there.

Timeka Tyler
Yes, yes, yes. Yes, free resources, the DIY guide for healing, because we all have to heal from something, whether it be trauma, a breakup, like sometimes, like me, I was sheltered. So some things that I have to heal from people might be like, Girl, that’s really nothing, but it’s like, okay, but my life wasn’t what your life is, so my little struggle may not be as big as your struggle, but it’s still hurting me so I gotta heal. So, whatever you have to heal from, that guide just walks you through a step-by-step process that will help you heal. The thing about the guide is that it asks a bunch of questions. So it’s gonna take you down that process of being able to question yourself. Nobody got to get to your business. I don’t need to know what happened. You take the guide and ask yourself the questions with you and you. You do that work because we can’t depend on other people to do it for us. We have to do it for ourselves. So it’s a DIY guide for healing because you have to DIY your healing. You can’t depend on the world or anybody else to do it. Do it, and do it so that you can get where you want to be in life. And the guide for healing will help you do that.

Melanie McSally
Nice, nice, and we will put the link below as well as in the description for everybody to grab at any point in time. This video is timeless, so when you’re watching it, you’re meant to watch it. When you’re listening to it, you’re meant to. So yeah, please take the time to heal yourself, no matter how small or how big it is; it will transform your life. I know I’ve done my own healing in life, and it doesn’t matter if I’m healing something small or something big; it changes the trajectory of my path and brings more joy into my life. So do do that? Timeka. Coach MeMe, it has been such a pleasure having you. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, your joy, and your exuberance. Thank you so much.

Timeka Tyler
Thank you so much for having me, and thank you for all that you do as well. Because we’re both out here doing the work and just, of course, much love and success to everything that you’re doing.

Melanie McSally
To you as well. Thank you so much. I want to thank our listeners for tuning in. If you like what you’ve heard here today, please do like, share, and comment. We are trying to get WyzeTribe™ to be a hot new release. So if you feel inspired, if you feel moved, if you feel called, if we earned it, please do like, share, and comment. It is free for you to do so and really helps the podcast grow. And we really do love your engagement.

This was another episode of WyzeCast™, the show that elevates the voices, shines the light, showcases the gifts of our heart-centered guests, and amplifies the positive difference they’re making in the world.

If you want to learn more about WyzeCast™, you can visit our wyzecast.com. We dropped ten episodes every month on the 21st, so you can binge-watch or spread them out over the month. Whatever suits your mood and lifestyle.

Once again, my name is Melanie. It has been my pleasure being your host today. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching, thank you for your engagement, and I invite you to come back and join me once again for our next episode of WyzeCast™.