Join us on WyzeCast™ Season 3, Episode 20, as we sit down with the incredible Laura Jane Layton, a personal coach and the visionary behind a transformative podcast. Dive into her journey as a recovering corporate workaholic, overcoming stress and neglecting self-care. Laura’s message resonates as a beacon of hope for women seeking to turn their inner critic into a steadfast supporter. With warmth and relatability, she guides her audience towards lasting change, emphasizing the importance of self-talk, self-kindness, and achieving balance for true fulfillment. Tune in for an empowering conversation on self-care from the inside out.

Watch on YouTube – Premieres December 26th, 10 AM ET

Listen on Spotify – Premieres December 21st, 4 PM ET

Melanie McSally
Welcome to another episode of WyzeCast™, the show that elevates the voices, shines the light, showcases the gifts of our heart-centered guests, and amplifies the positive differences they are making in the world.

Hello folks, I am delighted to bring today’s guest to you. She is the visionary behind a hit podcast, where she emerges her background as a personal coach with her firsthand experience as a recovering corporate workaholic, how many of us can relate to this, where she overcame work-related stress and periods of neglecting self-care. Her message serves as a beacon of hope for women seeking to transform their inner bully voice into an unwavering supporter and best friend. With a warm and relatable approach, she guides her listeners and clients towards lasting change. Our guest today specializes in helping women change their self-talk, fostering self-kindness, and supporting and guiding others toward greater balance and fulfillment.

My name is Melanie McSally, your host for today’s episode. And without further adieu, I would like to give a warm welcome to the beautiful bright light. Laura Jane Layton is the host of The Laura Jane Layton Show, which is based in the US and streamed all over the globe. Welcome, Laura Jane.

Laura Jane Layton
Wow, that was a beautiful entry or introduction. Thank you so much. I love it. I’ve never been called a bright light before.

Melanie McSally
Well, you are. That’s what I’m seeing. So, listeners, you know that we at WyzeTribe® are all about helping heart-centered entrepreneurs elevate and get their message out. So we can all make a big change and create a better tomorrow. Laura Jane is no exception to this. And so I would like to give you a chance to tell us how you are making a difference in the world.

Laura Jane Layton
I try to make a difference in the world one word at a time. I am I love to do challenges of switching up the way we talk to ourselves because we beat ourselves up more than anybody else in the whole world. You can have a bad day, someone can tell you one bad word, and we are the ones that replay it for the rest of our lives. Think about that kid back in elementary school who told you you are big, fat, and ugly. And I still wonder if that’s really true. And that’s many years later. So it’s learning how to reframe our thoughts one word at a time so that we are kinder and gentler with ourselves.

Melanie McSally
Yeah, because when you’re kinder and gentler to yourself, you can be kinder and gentler to everybody else in the world. It’s just compassion, compassion for self, compassion for others.

Laura Jane Layton
It’s like putting your mask on first, like that. Once you can put your mask on, you can take care of the rest of the world, but without it, you’re gonna die out.

Melanie McSally: Yes, yes. I mean, it’s hard to pour from an empty cup.

Laura Jane Layton: Yes. This takes me to what I thought we could talk about today: self-care from the inside out. What does that sound like to you?

Melanie McSally: Let’s see. It sounds like… Flip me over… No, I’m just kidding.

Laura Jane Layton
Oh, yes, that would work. But I like to think of self-care as we do our homes. We can have a beautifully manicured yard. We can have a beautiful painted outside. But if we’re not taking care of the structural portion, and that’s what’s inside, we are living in chaos and damage. And so many of us focus self-care on: I’m gonna get my nails done, I’m gonna get my eyelashes done, I’m gonna go to the gym. And the gym is a special one, it does both. So you can go there as much as you want. And I’m not saying you can’t have a beautiful home and be the most beautiful person you can be. But if you’re not structurally taking care of yourself, your home is going to collapse. I let myself go until I woke up in the hospital, wondering how I had let it get this far. When you get that little leaky roof, and you think, I’ll put a bucket there. I gotta keep going. I don’t have time to fix it. And then, eventually, the roof caves in. I don’t want anybody to go through that. And so I read daily practice changing the inside. And that’s decluttering our thoughts. That’s building a healthy, solid foundation that no wind, rain, snow, storm, or hurricane is going to topple us over. And how we can do that is really what I think makes the biggest difference. Be beautiful on the inside. But don’t let something out there threaten your own personal self.

Melanie McSally
I love this because I heard once that when you get to a place of utter self-love. When you truly just love everything about yourself, flaws and all, then nobody can say something bad to you. Nobody can call a person big fat, ugly something and have it impact them because the love you have for yourself creates this barrier. Those negative words just can’t get through, or they transmute when they go through. They transmute into I love you, or whatever you want it to be, because you own your own power and your own love for yourself, and it doesn’t matter what other people think.

Laura Jane Layton
That is so right, and it doesn’t matter. It. It’s kind of like you judge a restaurant by how many cars are parked outside. But there are some that just haven’t been discovered. And you are beautiful. And so is your listener is beautiful on the inside. And we may not have discovered that yet. Because we have that, I’m afraid of people, or I want to hide, or I’m only going to show this fake self because I don’t have enough faith in myself that my real self is going to be lovable. So we came up with this puppet. For years, I was nonexistent. I didn’t know anything about myself other than I got up, I got the kids ready for school, I went, got them off to school, I went to work, I came home, I fixed dinner, I spent the weekend cleaning and cooking, and that’s all there was, a mechanical Laura Jane was taking over and doing life. And if anybody said something to me, I wasn’t sure who I was, so of course it hurt. It hurt deep as someone said, you’re a bad mom. I said I don’t know how to be any different. How can you change that? And so it’s finding that self-love of who you are. We may have to declutter tons and tons and tons of false information that’s in our brains, but we can do it one step at a time, one word, one phrase, one change. You don’t have to hire someone to come and do a full overhaul. We can do it a little bit at a time. And each time you take out one of those bags of garbage, of crap that people told you, you are lighter, you are fresher, you are starting to see what’s inside of you. And I know that everybody is beautiful on the inside. I know it. And I love the beauty that’s inside of everybody. I just want to help you shed that ‘I don’t know who I am’ feeling.

Melanie McSally
Yeah, yeah, it’s interesting because we develop so many beliefs before we turn four years old. Those beliefs just become ingrained inside us, and we keep them for the rest of our lives unless we do work to decide whether or not they’re still serving us and release them; if we don’t, then they can rule our lives. I’ve taken a shine recently to watching shows that take place in the 1800s and early 1900s. It really showcases how we have evolved. If you think about what life was like back in the 1800s, women couldn’t vote, and all sorts of things, little tiny things, so, when you think about society. What people value. Things evolve. So, if you think that you don’t have any clutter in your brain. You don’t have any beliefs that aren’t serving you. Watch one of these old shows and just see how far we’ve come. How much has evolved? What’s something in your brain that’s maybe no longer serving you? I love the book The Four Agreements. Have you read that?

Laura Jane Layton: I was domesticated. I’m trying to become wild again.

Melanie McSally
So, for anyone who has not read the book, it’s really about uncovering all of your beliefs and getting down to the core ones of what you really need. And let’s get rid of the rest. The one thing that I came up with after I read that book is that the only belief that I will never get rid of is the belief that I will get rid of other beliefs, that I will continuously evolve and change, and that if it’s not serving me, see you, bye.

Laura Jane Layton
We are not the same people we were yesterday. We’re not the same people we were ten years ago. People in my life fifteen years ago would not recognize who I am today. I’m not the same. I don’t act the same. I don’t. The only people that aren’t allowed to do this, maybe, are politicians. They get in so much trouble for what they did thirty years ago, and they’ve changed just like you and I have changed. Every day, we learn more, we have more knowledge, we have more choices. We can analyze and choose who and what we are, and it’s a beautiful thing. You don’t have to be in trouble because at one time, I yelled and screamed at somebody; I’m not that person anymore. I am able to let that go. Part of this decluttering and the self-care from the inside out is allowing you to know that you did the best you could do with the knowledge you had at the time. And you’ve gained more knowledge, you’ve gained more experience, and it’s okay to be completely different and unrecognizable to those few.

Melanie McSally: And yourself.

Laura Jane Layton: Yes, yeah. Hopefully, we keep recognizing ourselves, but I do find I was like, Oh, I wouldn’t have responded like that before.

Melanie McSally: Yeah, and I mean, the old version of you might be unrecognizable. Wow, I can’t believe that unevolved version of myself.

Laura Jane Layton
That’s like the caterpillar and the butterfly. The butterfly may not recognize the caterpillar as a previous version of what it was. But it’s not a bad thing to be a caterpillar. A butterfly is not better than a caterpillar. It is the same being that has gone through evolution. It’s okay for us to change and love that original Caterpillar, a …, haha, what is the name of that cocoon thing? It sheltered you. It lets you go through pain, and you come out beautiful. And you were beautiful to start with.

Melanie McSally: And a butterfly can’t be a butterfly without having been a caterpillar.

Laura Jane Layton
I know. Isn’t it so magical? So we’re not limited to where we are today. We will be different tomorrow. And it’s allowing. My husband’s really good at this one. I can get kind of testy when someone has triggered me. One of my responses is … and I start getting frustrated. He says, allow them to be them. It is okay. And the most important person to allow is yourself. It is so hard not to beat ourselves up. When we do self-reflection at night to decide how the day went and how we’d want to change tomorrow or how we would… It’s the practice. Self-reflection is your practice for tomorrow. It’s desensitizing those triggers and sensitizing those things that you want to keep. How do I turn off the one and activate the other? That beautiful time of self-reflection is my favorite time to declutter and choose how tomorrow is going to be.

Melanie McSally
Yeah, it’s in those triggering moments that I use that as a reflection moment for myself: Why am I triggered by this? What does this say about me? What do I need to work on? I like to turn it back on myself not because I want to take on responsibility for somebody else’s actions but because everything is sort of an opportunity to grow and develop and be the best version of yourself, and you learn in challenging moments who you can be.

Laura Jane Layton
They talk about the diamond and the coal. The pressure, the heat, and the time that the coal went through to become a diamond. Now, does that mean coal is worthless? No. We heat our homes. We cook with them even. The coal is so important to us, but some coal has taken on all that crap, all that pressure, and turned into a beautiful diamond. Is coal ugly? No. It’s just different.

Melanie McSally: Both are sources of energy.

Laura Jane Layton
Yes. One of them can cut through anything, and the other one can purify anything. Activated charcoal is an amazing purifier. So they both have extremely good properties. You right now today are perfect. The way you are. Does that mean you don’t have to change? No. You don’t have to, but you can. You get to make that choice. The one part about The Four Agreements that you’re talking about as you are in your own movie. Everybody else is in their own movie. And their perception of you is not you. You are the only one that gets to choose you. Be your actress or actor. Be the person you want to be every day. But not in that robotic, mindless state. We’re not doing it because these are our half-tos. These are our choose-tos.

Melanie McSally
Yeah. So earlier, you talked about politicians might be the only ones. I actually love that you said this as an example because I love to travel. I love to travel because I love seeing the world and experiencing the world from other people’s perspectives. The United States is on a global stage when it comes to everything it does. Everything is publicized. People see more of the downsides and the positives on the news and things like that. I recently had a guest who was denied the privilege to do something because of something that happened in his past, like something he did in his past. Oftentimes, when I go to another country and say I’m from America, they instantly judge me. Or I say I’m from the United States, I have shifted to say I’m from the United States. I just I will say the same thing that I said to this person, this previous guest, is that if somebody chooses to change, we should allow them to change. Right? It’s like they took the effort to say I want to do better; I want to be better, and we shouldn’t allow that. Right? We should allow them to do better, be better, and honor them for the person they are, not the person they were. Now, obviously, people have to pay for their crimes if they commit them. But that doesn’t mean that once they’ve gone through that full transformation, we can’t honor the new person that they are. So, thank you for bringing that up because I think it’s an important lesson for people; we can’t require people to change, but we can honor them if they choose to.

Laura Jane Layton
I agree. How do we get away from holding on to that? I think for me so. If you were raped, there are so many women in the me too phase. I had no idea there were so many people in that category. Are you holding on to that as an excuse to stop living life, and we shut our own doors and lock our own doors because of past trauma? How do we become or obtain that feeling of safe mode again? Even if the only thing you change is starting the affirmation, I am safe. Start reminding yourself that not everybody out there is going to inflict harm. There are so many beautiful people that we have locked ourselves away from because we’re afraid of being hurt. So, the person that I want everyone to choose to change and allow to be different is themselves. It’s okay to protect yourself. It’s okay to lock the doors, but it’s also okay to be safe. If the only thing you take away from today is I am safe, and you say it every morning and night, you will start… Our whole foundation, the most important thing to us, is safety. That’s before food and water. That’s before housing. That’s before all these other needs that we have. Safety is the foundation. When we don’t feel safe, we hide. We deny ourselves living the life that we could have.

Melanie McSally
Absolutely, absolutely. You know, what’s interesting is that I had an experience earlier in life where I felt like I was attracting the wrong type of person into my life. I have a very strong intuition, but I felt like it must be broken when it comes to relationships because I keep inviting the wrong people into my life. So, I just decided one day. I mean, lots of personal growth later, but one day, I just made the decision. So, I had this perspective that I was inviting the wrong kind of person into my life and that my intuition wasn’t working when it came to discerning whether this was the right person or the wrong person. So, I just made this decision one day: I was going to change that perspective. I started with the affirmation: I’m safe, secure, and protected. I’m safe, secure, and protected. My intuition will only allow the right people into my life; the people for my highest good. It actually didn’t take very long for that shift to happen. We all know the saying: what you focus on grows and magnifies and attracts, right? So when I made that shift. When I was thinking about attracting the wrong people. My intuition doesn’t work. Well, it didn’t work, and I was attracting the wrong people because that’s what I was focused on. When I shifted my perspective to being safe, secure, and protected, My intuition was going to let me know who was safe and who was not. Then it did because that’s what I was focused on.

Laura Jane Layton: So magical.

Melanie McSally: Yeah, I love it. So anyway, it works, people.

Laura Jane Layton
Yeah, you were saying something. Well, we both have been talking a little bit about that change, that allowing change. And there’s this one saying that drives the crap out of me, which is when somebody says, how you do one thing is how you do everything? No, is not true. If I am in a situation where I feel unsafe, I definitely act differently than in a situation where I’m safe. You cannot, and the people that you meet react and respond to you the way you are treating them. How do we get where we allow people those changes? That would be like saying, I have a car, and it is going to turn right all the time because it always is going to do it the same way. No, sometimes it’s going to turn left. Sometimes it’s gonna go straight. It depends on the situation you’re in, what you pull in from your life. So, allow yourself to do whatever is safe and secure for you right now and let go of that need to please unless it’s for you. I love pleasing myself and making myself happy. But then I’m happy for everybody else. If I miss that step, I’m frustrated and angry. Then, I’m not kind to you. I don’t want that person in my life anymore. I used to be a lot worse. I still can get bitchy, but I used to be a lot worse.

Melanie McSally: Corporate America will do that to you.

Laura Jane Layton: When you have to give up your life for them, and you don’t.

Melanie McSally
Yeah. Yeah. I have this morning practice to infuse my day with my intention for the day. Whenever I stop, because sometimes you’re like, I don’t need that anymore. Whenever I stop, the crap hits the fan that day. It’s like, whatever I had been working to get rid of and not having my days, it comes on that day, and I think, ugh! Then, I will stop. I recognize it now, so I stop and do my morning intention ritual at that moment. Because I think, okay, we got to put an end to this. But, you get where you’re focused, and when you’re focused on self-care and self-love so that you can give from the overflow to others, then you’re not coming from a place of lack; you’re coming from a place of abundance; and it’s so beautiful.

Laura Jane Layton
It’s a much better place to be. Yeah, it’s much nicer to be able to share what’s extra because you have extra and not… What is that one quote? I will give you the best of me, not the rest of me. Because when you take care of yourself, first, you become your best self. And your friends and your family and your co-workers and all those people that you interact with get the best of you. Not what’s left of you. And I love it. I love that self-reflection, that self-drive. And you were talking about when you stopped that ritual. And these things hit you upside your head. I call those the pop quizzes. You know, when you go to math, and I’ve been studying and studying my math test, and I get there, I’m prepared for the test. But the pop quiz you’re never prepared for. And if you haven’t been doing the work and knowing how you’re going to respond, you might fail that pop quiz. But guess what? You didn’t fail in life. You just had a little hiccup. Now, you can learn to keep doing the things that are working for you. Every day.

Melanie McSally
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So what is? You said you like to turn-key phrases. Flip words on their head. So what’s what’s your best example?

Laura Jane Layton
Walk into a meeting late. You don’t say, sorry, I’m late. You say thank you for starting without me or thank you for waiting for me. I mean, just feel the difference. You’re walking in with a command presence instead of a sheepish little child who wants to hide, and I might get paddled because I… Just feel the difference. I used to say sorry all the time. Even to the wall. Jumping and bumping into the wall. Nobody else around. What would come out of my mouth? Sorry. Instead, thank you, wall, for being there. Start practicing with the people that you or the items that you don’t even know. But you can start to change it up. I think it’s so empowering. And that’s what… My Monday podcast episodes are all a challenge. It’s little things. That very first one that I ever recorded was the sorry one.

Melanie McSally
I like it because you’re not just saying to people, stop saying I’m sorry; you’re actually doing what they say and habit forming, which is you’re replacing it with something else. So instead of saying I’m sorry, say these key phrases. So, what is the biggest piece of advice you’d like to give people?

Laura Jane Layton
It really goes right back to what we’ve been talking about, which is to be kind to yourself, and when you have those negative thoughts, I have them. They’re not gone. They’re going to come. Every day, I get a pop quiz. I get the chance to do an open-book quiz, and I can figure out how to change it. I can figure out how to move forward. So allow yourself the pop quiz. Just let yourself have an open book, and you can figure out a way to make it and pass that test.

Melanie McSally
Nice, nice. So, if people are loving, because they are definitely going to love this episode. So, if people are loving this episode, how can they get more of Laura Jane?

Laura Jane Layton
You know, if you know, Laura Jane, last name is Layton. That’s all you need to know. It’s The Laura Jane Layton show. All of my social media is Laura Jane Layton. Even my website is laurajanelayton dot com. It’s so easy to find me. But yes, if you love the re-wording ideas and you want to find ways to reduce your stress and your pressure. All of my guests are here to help people be more themselves. And so The Laura Jane Layton Show. I drop three episodes a week. It will be fun. Check it out.

Melanie McSally
Nice. Yeah, I highly suggest this because if you, I mean, this sounds like a great way to get more positivity in your life while you’re working on your self-positivity. So if they’re looking for more switch-it-ups or just a cup of joyful tea or something, they can come to watch your show.

Laura Jane Layton: Yeah, and it’s on YouTube, too, if you really want to watch.

Melanie McSally: Oh, yeah, listen or watch. I just kind of assumed that it’s on all the platforms these days.

Laura Jane Layton: It is, but YouTube’s the only place where the video is.

Melanie McSally
Nice. Well, it has been such a pleasure having you here today, Laura Jane. Yeah, I’m so excited. I’m going to check out your show now. Laura Jane Layton 52: I checked yours out already, too. Thank you for having me. It’s been a pleasure.

Melanie McSally
I want to thank our listeners for tuning in. If you like what you’ve heard here today, please do like, share, and comment. We are trying to get WyzeTribe™ to be a hot new release. So if you feel inspired, if you feel moved, if you feel called, if we earned it, please do like, share, and comment. It is free for you to do so and really helps the podcast grow. And we really do love your engagement.

This was another episode of WyzeCast™, the show that elevates the voices, shines the light, showcases the gifts of our heart-centered guests, and amplifies the positive difference they’re making in the world.

If you want to learn more about WyzeCast™, you can visit our wyzecast.com. We dropped ten episodes every month on the 21st, so you can binge-watch or spread them out over the month. Whatever suits your mood and lifestyle.

Once again, my name is Melanie. It has been my pleasure being your host today. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching, thank you for your engagement, and I invite you to come back and join me once again for our next episode of WyzeCast™.